Him: “Why do you do this? I mean, why do you want to take away people’s faith? Even if they believe things that aren’t true, what is that to you?”
Me: “If you’re walking along a roadway and you see a nail out on the pavement, do you leave it there where it could puncture somebody’s tire, or do you pick it up?”
Him: “What? I pick it up.”
Me: “Yeah, well so do I.” Continue reading “Short Stack #18”
#DeathTweets: Just chugged about a quart of Diet Coke. Now for the Mentos!
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#DeathTweets: me and my posse up at the old sanders mansion spoze to be a vampire lives here. yes or no, im bringin back PROOF!
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#DeathTweets: whoo boys nite out no idea howw mny driks ive had time to go tho wherz my keys
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#DeathTweets: Makin my own fireworks for the 4th this year! Sulfur, saltpeter, charcoal, yeah! Ima grind this shit down to powder now and
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#DeathTweets: Can’t believe I’m here in Pamplona, Spain! Whoops, gotta go, I think the bulls are coming!
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#DeathTweets: Man, look at this gator just lying in the sun. Ha! Sluggish, stupid reptile! Watch me kick this big bastard in the ass.
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#DeathTweets: Texting and driving? I’ve got it wired, man. Hell, I could do this in heavy traf
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#DeathTweets: Trying to get the riding mower started, so dark I can’t tell how much gas is in it. Hang on, got my lighter here.
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#DeathTweets: Taking pics at the Grand Canyon! If I hang onto this tree limb, I can get a fantastic shot of the river down there.
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#DeathTweets: Cleaning up some brush in my yard. Just went down and rented a woodchipper. Never used one before, but hey, how hard can it be?
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#DeathTweets: Best bro and me seein how close we can stand to the Amtrak train when it passes by today.
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#DeathTweets: Oh, man, scored the coolest new pet! This guy on Craigslist was actually GIVING AWAY a 16-foot python!
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#DeathTweets: What a bunch of surf-pussies! Dude, shark is just another word for fish. Hey, I’m not missing these waves!
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#DeathTweets: So this biker asshole took my parking place AGAIN. Wait, here he comes. Ha! Wait til he sees what I did to his bike.
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#DeathTweets: I’m out 4-wheeling with my Texas cousin! Hang on a sec – he wants me to hold his beer.
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#DeathTweets: Parachuting’s a lot cheaper since I learned to pack my own chutes! Geronimo!
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#DeathTweets: Having a wonderful time on safari! Oh man, look at that beautiful lion. And so close!
I just started a new class today, and I was studying hard for almost half of it. I know you’ll understand the sometimes exhausting demands of higher education.
Official school picture below the fold (click to embiggen): Continue reading “Sorry, Way Too Busy to Blog”
Why has my old post Calvin & Hobbes Epilog — Extra Bacon!, from July 22, gotten so many hits today?
My stats page has it about equally popular with my two recent Beta Culture posts. Where are all these people coming from? How are they finding this more-than-a-month-old post?
An epilog to Calvin and Hobbes is definitely worth looking at, but hey … I’m tryna change dah woild heah! Show some respect.
Suppose you put a sign up on your house that said in big bold letters, “No Christian Evangelists, Please” — but a sales-pitchy Christian showed up at your door with a stack of Bibles and Chick Tracts.
How would you feel about that?
Annoyed, right? Okay, but since you’re a nice person, you’d send them away with no harsh words, offering instead a simple, “We’re not interested.”
You’d talk about it after with atheist friends, but that would be pretty much the end of it. You’d hope. Continue reading “God Comes Knocking … Via Spam”
[ Could be some repeats in here. Hey, I’m old.]
I think it would be funny to witness a nuclear explosion and then shout “That’s what SHE said!” Because hey, if ever people needed a laugh, it would be after witnessing a nuclear explosion. Continue reading “Short Stack #16”
You don’t have a hope in hell of escape.
Barricade yourself behind thick walls in brick buildings, the snakes will find you. They will get to you. They will show you no mercy. While you sleep, their patient, unceasing pursuit of your tender flesh will go on.
This is what you have bought, sacrilegious faithless humans! Upsetting God’s natural order, risking His Awesome Wrath, you have driven the rapid evolution of deadly Geometric Brick Snakes! Continue reading ““Your Ass Is Mine!” Say Relentless Brick Snakes”
Given the common name of the thing, I would swear the Neoclinus blanchardi is a spoof. (Click the pic to embiggen.)
Yet Wikipedia describes it thus: Continue reading “Monster Under the Bed Scientifically Identified!”
I’m just going to go ahead and assume everybody in the known Universe knew about this. That’s the way these things usually work when I “discover” something especially delightful. If there was a Last to Know Club, I would be elected president by popular acclaim.
I’m also going to assume you are a Calvin & Hobbes fan, because, hey, if you’re not, you’re dead to me.
But! In 2011, years after Bill Watterson stopped doing Calvin & Hobbes, a couple of brothers doing a comic named Pants are Overrated did just these four strips of Calvin’s life 26 years later. Continue reading “Calvin & Hobbes Epilog — Extra Bacon!”
