Oval Office Voice Recording: July 31, 2017, 1:15 p.m.

“Anthony! Tony. Can I call you Tony?”
“Of course, Mr. President. Can I call you Donnie?”
“Ah. Okay.”
“Tony, we need to talk. Come on in. Sit down.”
“That’ll be all, Rosie. Close the door on your way out, and make sure we’re not disturbed.”
“So, Tony. It’s been a busy … what, five, six days?”
“Ten days, D – Mr. President.”
“Ten days! Ten days. Wow. A busy ten days. Busy. Wow.”
“Yes sir.”
“We haven’t had a real chance to talk, man to man. I guess it’s time we got certain things out of the way. Right? Right.”
“Things? Wait, why are you undoing your belt?”
“Don’t worry about it, Tony. It’s just something I expect all my hires to do. You know, here in the White House, I’m under a lot of pressure. I don’t always have the chance to get away, you know what I’m saying? And a man has needs.”
“Needs, Tony. And right now I need you to show me what you can do for me. Demonstrate your loyalty, you get me? Wow, loyalty. Loyalty is a necessary thing. It’s the best thing. It’s the only thing.”
“Wait, I’m not … I mean, you can’t be serious.”
“Needs, Tony. And after all, you were the one who brought it up, talking about Steve Bannon. And I’ll bet you were right. Steve probably does suck his own. But the President of the United States has people. People who do things for him. I like to think you’re one of those people, Tony. One of my loyal people.”
“Sure I’m loyal. I’d defend you to the death. But this … I wasn’t expecting this.”
“So when the President of the United States says to you, Tony — says Tony, I need you to do this thing for me, are you gonna be loyal, Tony? Are you gonna be loyal to the President of the United States, who hired you? Tony? Are you?”
“Well, like I say, I’d defend you to the death, Mr. President. But, you know, this is not something a man should have to do. I mean, I have a wife.”
“No you don’t. She left you, Tony. Filed for divorce, the cunt. She’s a cunt, isn’t she, Tony? Tell me she’s a cunt.”
“She’s a cunt.”
“What a cunt. What a cunt. I should know. I know about cunts. And now you’re alone. Nowhere to go. But you have this job, Tony. It’s the best job. The only job.”
“Well … yes. Sir.”
“So, Tony, you want to keep this great job. Great. I know you do. Great job.”
“I want to keep the job. And I think I can do it. Better than those other limp-dick weasels. Well, Sarah doesn’t have a limp dick, but she’s a weasel.”
“She’s a cunt, Tony. They’re all cunts. But it doesn’t matter, Tony. What matters is, your President is asking for your loyalty. Asking you to show your loyalty. Really show it. Show it like a 16-year-old beauty pageant contestant just before the final three. Wow. Like that.”
“Sir, I … I don’t …”
“You know I fire people, Tony? I have no problem firing people. I had a whole TV show about firing people. And I fired them. I fired them all. Bigly.”
“Sir …”
“So I could say, Tony, you’re fired. You get where I’m coming from? You’re fired. I could say it. I could say it and sleep well tonight. It would be a good fire, the only fire. You’re fired. You want to hear me say you’re fired?”
“No sir. It’s just … you know, I never did anything like this before.”
“I’ve never been President of the United States before, Tony. But I am now. Tell me, Tony, do you think when General George Washington asked Mahatma Gandhi for this favor, that Gandhi said no? Dooming the American experiment almost before it started? No, he took off his war bonnet, Gandhi did – he was an Indian, did you know that? One of the greatest Indians. Wow. – He took off his war bonnet and he said yes, Mr. President, I will do this thing you ask.”
“Sir, I don’t think Gandhi was alive when Washington was …”
“Tony, I know my American history. I know American history better than anybody. It’s a good history, the best history. But you’re missing the point. I need some loyalty here. And I need a quick BJ from somebody, or somebody gets fired today. Right now. You’re fired. I could say it so easy. I could say you’re fired. Plenty more people out there. Loyal people. The best people.”
“Sir, I’m not …”
“That’s it. You’re fired. You’re fired. There, I said it. You’re fired, Tony. You hear that? You’re fired. Wow.”
“Rosie, we’re done here! Rosie? Get some of those Secret Service guys in here. I need to get Tony off the property. I want him out of here. Now!”
“Sir, I …”
“You’re done Tony. You’re fired. Thanks, guys. Get Tony out of here. And get that chopper back for me. It’s been a rough week. I want to play a few rounds, take the pressure off. The President is having a rough week. It’s been a good week. The best week. But rough.”