Monster Under the Bed Scientifically Identified!

Given the common name of the thing, I would swear the Neoclinus blanchardi is a spoof. (Click the pic to embiggen.)

Yet Wikipedia describes it thus:

The sarcastic fringehead (Neoclinus blanchardi) is a ferocious fish which has a large mouth and aggressive territorial behaviour. When two fringeheads have a territorial battle, they wrestle by pressing their distended mouths against each other, as if they were kissing. This allows them to determine which is the larger fish, which establishes dominance.

Sarcastic fringehead! They sound like Tea Baggers meeting to discuss Obama’s Muslim roots, or embittered loonies writing angry letters to the paper about the faked moon landings.

They’re less than a foot long, and are found off the coast of California at depths of 10 to 240 feet.

But they are also, and I swear to this on my own personal experience, sometimes found under the beds of 5 year olds.