“Your Ass Is Mine!” Say Relentless Brick Snakes

You don’t have a hope in hell of escape.

Barricade yourself behind thick walls in brick buildings, the snakes will find you. They will get to you. They will show you no mercy. While you sleep, their patient, unceasing pursuit of your tender flesh will go on.

This is what you have bought, sacrilegious faithless humans! Upsetting God’s natural order, risking His Awesome Wrath, you have driven the rapid evolution of deadly Geometric Brick Snakes!

Flickr member kasiahalka has an entire sequence on the black rat snake above, apparently taken in Mossy Creek, Candler, North Carolina, just two months ago.

The video below, with the slightly yokel-ish narration, speaks for itself. This time, not even Jesus can save us.