Chips Ahoy! Gadzooks! And Oh, This Poor Woman.


In addition to your medical records, banking records, etc., every one of these RADIO FREQUENCY ID chips will contain a locator device, allowing government agents to know where you are every second, and listen in on your private conversations. If you say anything the government doesn’t like, you can be fired from your job and never be able to work again!

Chips implanted in men contain potent mind-altering drugs which force radical changes in personality. In addition to causing a violent aversion to handling or owning guns or Bibles, the chips cause men in the northern states to become permanently impotent and begin speaking French, those in the Deep South to engage in hyperactive group homosexual activity while watching cooking shows on TV, and then all go out and get matching “666” neck tattoos. Continue reading “Chips Ahoy! Gadzooks! And Oh, This Poor Woman.”

The Place of Failure and Death — Part 1

failureIt’s a few months back and I’m answering a question I’ve just been asked online about my activist brand of atheism:

“Why do you do this? I mean, why do you want to take away people’s faith? Even if they believe things that aren’t true, what is that to you?”

“If you’re walking along a roadway and you see a nail out on the pavement, do you leave it there where it could puncture somebody’s tire, or do you pick it up?”

“What? I pick it up.”

“Yeah, well so do I.” Continue reading “The Place of Failure and Death — Part 1”

Ted Nugent — Masculine, Admirable, Freedom-Loving American. Or Not.

weThePeoplePimple-on-a-dog’s-ass aging rocker Ted Nugent has been invited to the State of the Union Address by Texas Rep. Steve Stockman.

Considering that Nugent has made fairly blatant public threats against both the President and outgoing Secretary of State Hillary Clinton — for instance:

 “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”

— and —

“Obama, he’s a piece of sh*t. I told him to suck on my machine gun. Hey Hillary [Clinton], you might want to ride one of these [brandishing two automatic rifles] into the sunset, you worthless b*tch.”

… I think Nugent should be kept away of the State of the Union. Simple respect for the office of the President would be one good reason. I mean, can you imagine anyone like this being admitted to one of George W. Bush’s speeches? No.

But even aside from the politics of the thing, hell, I think there’s justification for mother and wife Michelle Obama to put her foot down. “I don’t want that man anywhere near my husband or my daughters. If he’s in the room, we won’t be. Period.”

I’d like the White House and the Secret Service to VERY CAREFULLY consider Nugent’s presence there.

Yes, Nugent has every right to make drug-addled, machine-gun-brandishing threats against the President. But to afterwards enter the chambers of Congress to attend the State of the Union Address? No, I don’t think so. That’s well beyond any First Amendment right.

If he’s to be admitted, I suggest AT LEAST a thorough interview, probably including a very careful physical search.

Here’s my We The People petition:

Carefully Interview Ted Nugent Before Admitting Him to the State of the Union Speech

Recognizing that aging rocker Ted Nugent has made thinly-veiled but blatantly public threats against the President of the United States and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, we request that the Secret Service interview Mr. Nugent, respectfully but carefully and at length, before admitting him to the State of the Union speech.

Observing an abundance of caution regarding the safety of the President, Vice President and members of Congress, as well as the guests, families, and loved ones of all those present, we further request Mr. Nugent be thoroughly screened for the external or internal presence of firearms or edged weapons, as well as chemical, radiological, biological or pharmacological agents which might, with or without Mr. Nugent’s knowledge, pose a danger to other attendees.

It’s the “internal” screening that really shows the gravity of the situation, don’t you think? Rubber glove time, Ted! Do it for America! (Hey, if I have to submit to a full-body scan or pat-down in order to get on a plane … )

If you want to pass along the petition via Twitter or Facebook, here’s the short link:


Holy Shit, Really?!?

pope ratziHuh. The Pope is quitting.

No surprise, though.

He never really recovered from that fight with Yoda.

I’ll bet it has something to do with blackmail involving a sex tape with Jar Jar Binks.

Hey, wonder if Sarah Palin is advising him?

But the REAL REASON, revealed here for the first time: The Pope read my book, Red Neck, Blue Collar, Atheist … and has realized he can no longer believe in souls, Heaven, Hell, or the Big Magic Juju Guy.

My work is done.


Oh, well, SHIT. I dropped into Denny’s for breakfast and they already have a dish named after the bastard.

I’m updating my resume. I figure the Vatican is taking applications.

Seriously, I wonder if this is a sign of the church’s fading fortunes? Reeling from the molesting scandals and massive settlements, facing falling membership … is the Catholic Church on the ropes?

Then again, it makes sense he’s resigning. The Death Star isn’t going to rebuild itself.

Nothing to See Here, Move Along

Deer TracksThis is a little nothing-much, posted mainly to see how I feel about posting. If you’ve been following my recent exploits, you know I’m just a week into recovery from surgery – the minor-but-major removal of my gallbladder – and I haven’t felt much like writing. Or even turning on the computer.

But today I felt pretty good. Woke up at 7 a.m., lay in bed thinking and reading until almost 10 a.m., then got up and … well, got a great deal done. Continue reading “Nothing to See Here, Move Along”