Well, This Is Just Sad As Hell

Got this thing on Facebook, but it’s very little different from stuff I’ve been getting for years via email. Here it is in full, with picture attached:

***A MUST SHARE***A young man working in the army was
constantly humiliated because he
believed in God. One day the captain
wanted to humiliate him before the
troops. He called the young man and said:
– Young man come here, take the key and go and park the Jeep in front. the young
man replied: – I cannot drive! The captain
said: – Well then ask for assistance of
your God! Show us that He exist! The young man takes the key and walked
to the vehicle and begins to pray…… …He
parks the jeep at the place PERFECTLY
well as the captain wanted. The young
man came out of the jeep and saw them
all crying. They all said together: – We want to serve your God! The young soldier was astonished, and
asked what was going on? The CAPTAIN
crying opened the hood of the jeep by
showing the young man that the car had
no engine. Then the boy said: See? This is
the God I serve, THE GOD OF IMPOSSIBLE, the God who gives life to what does not
exist. You may think there are things still
To the person reading this, I pray the Lord work A SUPER MIRACLE in your life today that would look like a lie In Jesus Name I Pray..
Write ‘Amen’ to claim this prayer

The weird irregular line lengths, the punctuation, the rumpled language, all are verbatim from the Facebook post, and absolutely typical of the multiply-forwarded stuff I get via email. Whoever does these things has equally meager computer and linguistic skills.

There is so much wrong with this, but I’ll touch on only two items:

First: Considering the level of religiosity the military is known for, the claim that he was “was constantly humiliated because he believed in God” is pure horseshit. It’s KNOWN that atheists are the ones treated badly by the brass.

Second: To me, the really amazing thing about little stories like this is that they’re MADE UP. They’re complete fictions. And yet — and here’s the crucial point — THEY’RE USED TO JUSTIFY BELIEF IN GOD.

I have friends back in Texas who have sent me stuff like this for years. I just know they come across these things and nod knowingly to themselves “See?! See?! God can do ANYTHING!!” — never realizing if the story itself is false, the thing it appears to justify must be on damned shaky ground.

The comments to the piece are a mix of critical and fatuous, and some of the fervent believers — “amen,god can do all things, that man can,t” — are disturbing on several levels.

My daughter was healed of infantile spasms when I decided to take a leap of faith and take her off her medicine.. She has not had a seizure since. Our faith in Jesus is what will make us whole. By his stripes we are healed. Don’t listen to people who are Godless and faithless. Instead pray for them.

I especially liked this one:

To the people questioning if the Army is “serving for god”… I’m not serving for god. I do not believe in god. I believe in freedoms and rights, and I believe in your right to believe in whatever you please. Like, you can totally believe this bullshit post that is completely fake and would NEVER be allowed to happen, and would NEVER be able to happen.. considering all soldiers learn how to drive in basic training.

One commenter really nails it, though:

I’m all for a touching religious post. But this picture is of a soldier, SSG Lonnie Roberts, crying at the memorial service of a fellow soldier named Gregory Huxley Jr, who was killed in action. Whoring his picture out for cheap likes alongside an obviously fake story is shameful and wrong, and whoever created this post is a terrible human being.

And yes, that’s true about the source of the picture, as you can see here: Pulitzer Archives.


  • randomfactor

    There is no depth to which the god-apologists will not sink. Lying. Blaming the victim for their misfortune. Whoring out tragedy.

  • Gehennah

    You’d think that a Christian would remember the 9th commandment before making stuff up huh?

    • Cafeeine

      But it’s not lying if it reflects a deeper truth, is it?

      Since *you* know that God is real, anything you say to get that point across is true, even if it has a few problems in the ‘being utter fiction’ dept.

      • Gehennah

        Whether or not there is any aspect of truth in a lie doesn’t make it not a lie.

        • Hrothgir Ó Dómhnaill

          True, but Cafeeine was playing Jesuit – and rather well – in that they are expanding on the view of the faithful, while not actually holding it themselves.

          • Gehennah

            Of course, I occasionally still do that as well.

    • Guest

      What makes you think it was made by a Christian?

  • Matt G

    If I believed in God, I’d be humiliated too!

  • BillYeager

    That’s why they’re referred to as, “Liars for Jesus”.

    Cos it’s ok to tell whopping great big stinky lies if it means you get to convert the godless or the wrong-god-worshippers.

    Besides, we all know that if you pray hard enough you can make miracles happen.
    How hard do you have to pray?
    Well, hard enough to make miracles happen, of course!

  • James

    Yep, language such as this reads like plagiarism of the bible itself; nowadays, who says crap like “…ask for assistance of your God!,” ” we want to serve
    your God!,” “the young soldier was astonished,” etc. (sidenote: fundies tend to badly overuse exclaimation points). If one is going to write fiction, at least try to make the dialogue sound realistic, and not just a ham-handed take on old bible stories updated and set in the present. Side note: if this sort of scenario actually happened in reality, repeatable before cameras, instruments and reliable, unbiased witnesses, then there would be no atheists and no followers of other religions. And apologists such as William Lane Craig would have to get day jobs, because there would be no more skepticism regarding the extraordinary claims made by theists.

  • Sharon

    I would think anyone in the US Army would be disgusted at their attempt to make them look like idiots. I love reading your blog Hank. Hope to discuss more at future SA meetings

  • Like shooting fish in a barrel.

    But then, what is a fish doing in a barrel in the first place? A fish worth it’s salt lives in the sea.

    What does nailing this kind of nonsense prove?

  • Maria Vastianou Grigoriadi

    Seems legit, having happened in Ethiopia. At
    least the person reporting it (Serkaddis Meshesha) is really the
    registrar of the Addis Ababa Bible College:


  • Carl

    I guess I missed the part where it says that this was the U.S. Army. It is well known that there are plenty of armies around the world that persecute Christians who are among their ranks. Heck the Russian army used to make them stand outside in the dead of winter night after night until they would give up their faith.

  • Leana Liebenberg

    If a story of a man who claimed that he was blind and God made him see, or paralyzed and God made him walk again traveled around Internet, would everybody also say that is is nonsense or laugh/joke about it? If so, stop reading your Bibles because that that is also nonsense. God is a God of wonders, miracles and ANYTHING is possible for Him… true or not true!

  • Daniel Allen

    This is just ridiculous These make Christians look stupid. I suspect these face book posts were created to do just that.