Short Stack # 15 — Mitt Romney

This is a SHORT short stack, focused on a single subject that played out today in Facebook.

Mitt Romney is so boring that …

(I came up with a few:)

… the cats at his house sleep 20 hours a day instead of just 18.

… the dog REALLY DID prefer to ride on the roof.

… his mother slept through his delivery. So did the doctor.

… after he spoke at an Optimists Club meeting, they all killed themselves.

… he’s being sued by the maker of Xanax for unfair competition.

… after the Roadrunner attended one of Mitt’s speeches, he was so depressed he let Wile E. Coyote catch him.

(Co-blogger Ian Cromwell chimed in with:)

… Tostitos now sells salsa in hot, medium, mild, and Mitt.

… his charisma has been officially recognized by leading homeopaths as 30C.

… his private home movies with his wife are rated ‘ZZZ.’

(Others popped off with:)

… his secret service code name is Mitt Romney. (Dave Hitt)

… his inner child is 45. (Dan Dalrymple)

… his favorite color is a matte beige. (Gary A. Gabbard)

… white bread gives him acid reflux. (Gary A. Gabbard)

(And finally FB friend Stevarious nailed a few:)

… sheep count him.

… his driver’s license describes him as having ‘hair colored’ hair.

… his idea of a wild night is staying up to watch the ten o’clock news.

… he once really cut loose and put on his socks in the wrong order!

… his wife arranged to have him walk in on her with another man, just to see if Mitt’s expression would change. It didn’t.

… he’s actually been recorded as saying “Well, I went to a place today called Wawas. You ever been to Wawas? Anyone been to Wawas? I was at Wawas. I went in to order a sandwich. You press a little touch-tone keypad … you just touch that, and, you know, the sandwich comes out … it’s amazing.” – Mitt Romney.

(And the best of all, also from Stevarious:)

Mitt Romney is so boring …

… his favorite flavor is ‘water.’