This is a SHORT short stack, focused on a single subject that played out today in Facebook.
Mitt Romney is so boring that …
(I came up with a few:)
… the cats at his house sleep 20 hours a day instead of just 18.
… the dog REALLY DID prefer to ride on the roof.
… his mother slept through his delivery. So did the doctor.
… after he spoke at an Optimists Club meeting, they all killed themselves.
… he’s being sued by the maker of Xanax for unfair competition.
… after the Roadrunner attended one of Mitt’s speeches, he was so depressed he let Wile E. Coyote catch him.
(Co-blogger Ian Cromwell chimed in with:)
… Tostitos now sells salsa in hot, medium, mild, and Mitt.
… his charisma has been officially recognized by leading homeopaths as 30C.
… his private home movies with his wife are rated ‘ZZZ.’
(Others popped off with:)
… his secret service code name is Mitt Romney. (Dave Hitt)
… his inner child is 45. (Dan Dalrymple)
… his favorite color is a matte beige. (Gary A. Gabbard)
… white bread gives him acid reflux. (Gary A. Gabbard)
(And finally FB friend Stevarious nailed a few:)
… sheep count him.
… his driver’s license describes him as having ‘hair colored’ hair.
… his idea of a wild night is staying up to watch the ten o’clock news.
… he once really cut loose and put on his socks in the wrong order!
… his wife arranged to have him walk in on her with another man, just to see if Mitt’s expression would change. It didn’t.
… he’s actually been recorded as saying “Well, I went to a place today called Wawas. You ever been to Wawas? Anyone been to Wawas? I was at Wawas. I went in to order a sandwich. You press a little touch-tone keypad … you just touch that, and, you know, the sandwich comes out … it’s amazing.” – Mitt Romney.
(And the best of all, also from Stevarious:)
Mitt Romney is so boring …
… his favorite flavor is ‘water.’