Day 12 – TMH

dude.jpgFeelin’ good overall. I’m noticeably stronger than I was.

Hunger is a constant companion these days, and I don’t seem to mind it. I wake up hungry, go to bed hungry, walk around hungry. But considering that hunger went away completely when I was fatter, that’s a good thing. And by “went away,” I mean I somehow lost the ability to tell when I was hungry. What might have been hunger came across as weird weakness, which was scary. Meaning at times it seems like I was training myself to be afraid of being hungry.

Some interesting things happening internally, little twinges and pains. I’m guessing they’re from things realigning inside as the fat moves out — I picture two membranes formerly cushioned from each other by fatty padding are now close enough to touch, and have to renegotiate the contact.

I was on the injured list yesterday. I bashed a toe against a ladder two weeks ago, and it was giving me some problems on my walks, so I just rested.

Something completely subjective: I feel smarter. Does that seem strange? But I do. More alert, more focused, better able to remember things. I’ve been studying a lot over the past week or so, learning new stuff with my graphics software. I recently went back to work at my newspaper after a year off, and I was worried I wasn’t going to remember the details of the layout program we use. But it started to come back to me so quickly I was able to lay out several pages on my second night. A muzzy pall had come over me in the past couple of years, where I felt my mental reactions were slightly slower than before, but that seems to be reversing.