Want to guess how this overturned car got that way?
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Short Stack #3
I’ve been joking for years that Christianity is a stolen religion. Christians heisted it from the Jews in the middle of the night, polished off the serial numbers and changed the plates, slapped on a new coat of paint, and now they’re driving it like it was their own.
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What?? You mean … Jesus wasn’t actually a Christian?? Oh, man. If JESUS wasn’t a Christian, why should I be? Continue reading “Short Stack #3”
Are You Voting for God?
Hello, Clarice.
I realized some years back that the reason we have heroes in movies is really that there are so few of them. We truly do want unbending honesty, and heroic defenders, and powerful people who fight for truth and justice.
But they’re next to impossible to get in real life. Instead we get … George W. Bush. Jesse Jackson. Britney Spears. People who can’t even aspire to be flawed heroes, because though they possess flaws in abundance, they don’t have the required heroism. They’re just people — famous ones, but not very good ones. Continue reading “Hello, Clarice.”
Short Stack #2
Do you think Jesus’ healing hands work only when he exerts his holy will? Or just anytime he touches something?
Because, man, if it’s the second one, that would suck. Say you invite Jesus over for a barbecue, and serve him up a nice juicy breast or leg off the grill — the instant he touches it, bam! You’ve got a live chicken at the party. And then what? Continue reading “Short Stack #2”
The Most Dangerous Thing You Can Do: Stay Safe
Something funny happened to me a few years back. I was living in Flagstaff at the time, and contemplating a visit to the Grand Canyon. But the idea of standing at the lip of that mile-deep crack in the ground gave me fluttery feelings in my belly and repeatedly spooked me away from actually going there and exploring it. Continue reading “The Most Dangerous Thing You Can Do: Stay Safe”
Nerd Power
Were you a nerd?
I know I was.
From high school on, and for years afterwards, I was odd, bookish, ill-at-ease and clumsy. And I had this sometimes-embarrassingly-loud laugh — meant to be a quiet, easy chuckle, it sometimes seemed to get away from me, ballooning shrilly outward to fill an entire room, turning heads and provoking “looks.”
Ouch. I still wince to think of it.
Interestingly enough, I was not a nerd in elementary school or junior high.
And I think I’ve figured out something of why this was so. Continue reading “Nerd Power”
Some Things I’ve Learned in Life
Life’s not meant to be fair. But humans are.
Inside every one of us is a 12-year-old who deserves a cookie and a hug.
Nobody gets enough hugs.
Someday you’re going to be dead. Might as well make the best of the situation while you wait.
After you lose half your hair, the pressure’s off. Continue reading “Some Things I’ve Learned in Life”
Zinger
Demanding that atheists study and understand the entire Bible before they can argue against it is kind of like saying you have to molest kids for a few years to really appreciate the shortcomings of NAMBLA.
Mohammad Sucks Big Sweaty Donkey Balls
Sorry. Had to be said. After all, it’s Blasphemy Day International. (Wikipedia)
In fairness, I feel the same way about Christianity. About all religion, actually, but also about superstition, and even about the donkey-ball-sucking broadcasters who pour out all this recent ghost-hunter swill on TV.
If cigarettes damage your health, and now require warning labels, shouldn’t things that damage your ability to think have warning labels too? Continue reading “Mohammad Sucks Big Sweaty Donkey Balls”