Carrie Underwood Click-Bait. Meh.

ChickenWe had chickens when I was a kid — White Leghorns, Rhode Island Reds, Barred Plymouth Rocks, Bantams — and I loved feeding them. I’d go out with a bowl of cracked corn and call “Chick, chick, chick, chick-EE!” And they’d come running, looking up at me with their stupid prehistoric faces, brainlessly eager for something tasty. Never realizing that they were OUR food, that this was all a scam to get their eggs and meaty selves on our table in the near future.

I hate to think of people like that, but — all too often — we are.

So here’s the cracked corn:

Atheists Outraged By Carrie Underwood’s Latest Song

In the song, Underwood sings about baptism and “being washed in blood,” which refers to the blood of Christ. The whole message of the song is that we humans are lost without God.

Atheists are outraged that such a hit-maker as Underwood would dare to sing about Christianity, but Carrie doesn’t seem to care.

“Country music is different. You have that Bible Belt-ness about it,” she said. “I’m not the first person to sing about God, Jesus, faith or any of that, and I won’t be the last. And it won’t be the last for me, either. If you don’t like it, change the channel.”

And here are the lyrics:

“Something In The Water”

He said, “I’ve been where you’ve been before.
Down every hallway’s a slamming door.”
No way out, no one to come and save me
Wasting a life that the Good Lord gave me

Then somebody said what I’m saying to you
Opened my eyes and told me the truth.”
They said, “Just a little faith, it’ll all get better.”
So I followed that preacher man down to the river and now I’m changed
And now I’m stronger

There must’ve been something in the water
Oh, there must’ve been something in the water

Well, I heard what he said and I went on my way
Didn’t think about it for a couple of days
Then it hit me like a lightning late one night
I was all out of hope and all out of fight

Couldn’t fight back the tears so I fell on my knees
Saying, “God, if you’re there come and rescue me.”
Felt love pouring down from above
Got washed in the water, washed in the blood and now I’m changed

And now I’m stronger

There must be something in the water
Oh, there must be something in the water

And now I’m singing along to amazing grace
Can’t nobody wipe this smile off my face
Got joy in my heart, angels on my side
Thank God almighty, I saw the light
Gonna look ahead, no turning back
Live every day, give it all that I have
Trust in someone bigger than me
Ever since the day that I believed I am changed
And now I’m stronger

There must be something in the water
Oh, there must be something in the water
Oh, there must be something in the water
Oh, there must be something in the water
Oh, yeah

I am changed

I’m free

Now, who do you suppose this headline and this story and this song were for? Who are the chickens that will come running? Is it atheists?

Nope. It’s Christians. Those poor, besieged Christians.

This is a manipulative, parasitic song and article to fuck over people — real human beings, a lot like you and me — who identify as Christians … mostly because they don’t know any different.

Behind the song and article — and probably a lot of preacher-talk to follow — is a millennia-long religious INDUSTRY aimed at fucking over people. Aimed at lying to them. Aimed at brainwashing them. Aimed at sucking the life out of them. Aimed at creating misery that can be turned into profit.

That’s what this is all about. This is one of those things that you can never see until you get religion out of your head. Before, it all looks like sweetness and light, families home for the holidays and Hallmark moments of all sorts. After … you start to see it for what it really is: A sort of invisible monster that eats human minds, human lives.

The way this particular story is presented, that business about Christians being under siege, is a way of deflecting attention onto others for the REAL siege being carried out by the presenters. It’s a dirty little magic act where they pose as your friend — rather than cracked corn, they throw out a scary picture of The Common Enemy — so you never notice them consuming you and everybody you love.


I actually like Carrie Underwood a lot. I especially like the song and video for “Before He Cheats Again.” It’s beautiful musically. The video is fabulous. But I don’t kid myself about what it’s really about, a young woman vandalizing a man’s truck — to a felony-level thousands of dollars — merely because he’s out with another girl.

Right now he’s probably slow dancing with a bleached-blonde tramp,
and she’s probably getting frisky…
Right now, he’s probably buying her some fruity little drink
’cause she can’t shoot whiskey…
Right now, he’s probably up behind her with a pool stick,
showing her how to shoot a combo…

And he don’t know…

That I dug my key into the side
of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
Carved my name into his leather seats…
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires…
Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats.



Several days after, I realize the REAL headline that should be attached to this story:

“Religious Advertisers and Marketers SHIT-SCARED Because Atheists No Longer Buying Into Their Crap.”

  • wonderer

    Thanks for exposing this.

  • Machintelligence

    They said, “Just a little faith, it’ll all get better.

    Faith is just gullibility all dressed up in its Sunday best.
    The song is a classic case of sampling bias. Things change. When you are at the bottom there is nowhere to go but up. If things hadn’t improved, there would have been no story to tell, and no song to sing, so we would never hear of it.

    • c2t2

      This! My god-addled ex-family keeps trying to tell me ‘miraculous survivals; therefore god!’ …it seems to go in one ear and out the other when I explain that ‘miracles’ are only called such because most people don’t get one. You don’t hear the stories of the many people who die in order to make the one who survived feel all special.

      On the post:
      The main point – sometimes I worry that I’m falling into a trap sort of like that. Nearly all my media consumption tends toward liberal, so I’m worried about falling for the same ‘we’re persecuted!’ whining for the sake of a cheap endorphin rush and community solidarity. Analyzing group power dynamics is a good start to avoid faux persecution, but the fear of falling for it nags me nonetheless.

      Carrie Underwood – IMO the best Carrie Underwood video is Cowboy Casanova. I’m not usually a fan of country, but watching her sneer and snarl in the guy’s face with such open contempt is one of the most entertaining scenes ever. Her acting is as flawless as her wardrobe is fabulous.

  • In addition, Carrie Underwood is one of the “good” Christians, coming out pro-LGBT rights.

  • Miriam44

    All I got out of this article was your lack of any tolerance for anyone or anything different from you. Chickens are not brainless; nor are they stupid. If anything, the onus is on you for your betrayal of them. That’s not my comment. That’s yours. Yes, I’m atheist. And for that reason, I’m able to see that man is not the only create with brains–despite what the bible claims. And I don’t care a whole lot about Underwood. She’s way too religious for me. But your criticism is just–may I say–damned brainless.

    • Hank Fox

      Chickens aren’t stupid? Uh … have you MET chickens?

      But yes, I feel bad about betraying them. Being a chicken traitor weighs on me.

      • Miriam44

        Yes, I have MET them. And yes, I have watched them going about their daily activities. Watched them CLOSELY. They are not stupid. Just because humans are too stupid to take time to observe and understand the intelligence of other animals does not mean that those animals lack intelligence. I won’t comment further on your silly and snide last sentence.

        • OpinionsProfile

          Chickens are stupid. The only birds that i have ever seen that are stupider than chickens are tufted titmouses and guineas.

          • Miriam44

            So, you have spent your life observing birds? And, please, your extensive evidence supporting your claims? Your qualifications? Your justifications? Your experiments? No, you just make a vast generalization designed only to antagonize, not to elucidate or clarify. I pity your narrow-mindedness and your inability to contribute intelligently to a discussion.

          • OpinionsProfile

            My family have owned chickens for years. We also owned guineas. We don’t own any guineas anymore because they liked to run back and forth across the road. The would run to one side and then immediately turn around and run back. They would do this over and over. Chickens at least are smart enough too not do that. This does not stop them from being quite stupid.

          • Miriam44

            It is ‘smart enough not TO do that.” You have two grammatical errors in one phrase. I could make some claims about your intelligence or lack thereof based on these errors, but I will not. Okay, so guineas run across the road. And this proves? Nothing. You make this sweeping judgment of at least two species of birds based on one behavior that you observed but made no effort to understand or explore. So, based on that, I conclude that you have a non-curious, non-observant, non-creative personality. Notice that I did not call you stupid, since I know nothing else about you. I do know that you are species-centric. Yet– You have not answered my questions in the previous post. One anecdotal notation, as animal scientists would say, does not make a proof.

          • OpinionsProfile

            Sorry about that. I had just finished typing 1700 words worth of biology notes and my grammar was starting to suffer. Back and forth across the road repeatedly. They would often do this several times a day. I observed this behavior in several batches of guineas.

          • Hank Fox

            Miriam, enough.

          • Miriam44

            You never have answered my question, Mr. Fox, so all right. Enough. I figure I have outmatched you and you have given up. No prob.

    • Brad Mayeux

      I love all animals, and while i wouldnt use the term stupid, i would say they are not as easily taught, not do they posses many of the qualities one normally thinks of as smart.
      as in feelings, a sense of loss… being taught…

      compared to a chimp, or a dog, or even a parrot.
      they dont appear to rank up there…

  • Pofarmer

    “That’s what this is all about. This is one of those things that you can never see until you get religion out of your head. Before, it all looks like sweetness and light, families home for the holidays and Hallmark moments of all sorts. After … you start to see it for what it really is: A sort of invisible monster that eats human minds, human lives.”

    This. My wifes family is uber, crazy Catholic, and I finally had to put my foot down in my own house and slow down the train. What religious superstitious thinking does to people os sad. And what’s maddening, is parents who can see the effects, are convinced they must continue the cycle.

  • Brad Mayeux

    religion has become an insane part of our culture
    i call it the gutter syndrome.

    I had taken off some old gutters from my house
    and decided not to put any back
    they are expensive. you have to clean leaves out of them…
    everyone told me i HAD to have gutters,
    but didnt really know what would happen if i didnt.

    i didnt put the gutters back.
    no problem. i dont see the purpose.

    so, we spend hours of our lives (not me)
    going to church, praying, telling others to pray
    sometimes actually believing it will help.
    giving them money
    letting them tell us how to run our lives.
    what we cant do, how we should feel…
    and then the guilt… LOL

    no need or desire for all that bull…