A—THE—IST

Hey, America!

Do me a favor, okay?

Spell this word right: Atheist.

A-T-H-E-I-S-T.

A- is for non, not or without. For instance: typical, atypical. Atypical means not typical.

-THEIST means religious, believing in a god or gods. It’s the same “the” in theology, the study of gods or religion.

And while we’re at it, the end part of theist,

-IST means someone who does a thing — guitarist, feminist, racist, pianist

… whereas

-EST means something like “most.” Biggest. Ugliest. Smartest.

So:

A-THE-IST

A-THE-ISM

Not a-thi-est. An athiest, if there was such a thing, might be someone really good at not believing in thighs. While such people might exist somewhere, we don’t give them a cool name when we talk about them.

C’mon, you’ve been killing and spitting on us for at least the past couple of thousand years. And even today you don’t want to live next door to us, or have us marry your daughters.

At least learn to spell our name.