[ Could be some repeats in here. Hey, I’m old.]
I think it would be funny to witness a nuclear explosion and then shout “That’s what SHE said!” Because hey, if ever people needed a laugh, it would be after witnessing a nuclear explosion. Continue reading “Short Stack #16”
If your twin brother gets your wife pregnant … is it still your kid?
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I’m always one of the late adopters. Apparently eating people’s faces is all the rage in this week’s news, but I think I’m going to wait a few weeks. I’m trying to lose weight.
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Just saw Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets again and I’m wondering … what would happen if you stabbed a Bible with a basilisk fang? Continue reading “Short Stack # 14”
In Life’s Darkest Hours, remind yourself of this: There’s chocolate.
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Few people know that most of the early programmers at Microsoft were total emos. For instance, the first version of Clippy included the phrase, “Hi, it looks like you’re writing a suicide note! Would you like some help?” Continue reading “Short Stack #11”
“Faith” is the belief in something for which there is no evidence. Breach the protective barrier in your mind, the barrier that keeps you from believing stuff just because somebody tells you to, or just because you want to, and all sorts of ugly side effects begin to take place. The first is that you become a sucker for the next 50 con men able to convince you of THEIR seductive lie.
When there’s evidence, nobody talks about faith. Faith only comes into it when we want to replace evidence with blind belief. Continue reading “Short Stack #4”
I’ve been joking for years that Christianity is a stolen religion. Christians heisted it from the Jews in the middle of the night, polished off the serial numbers and changed the plates, slapped on a new coat of paint, and now they’re driving it like it was their own.
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What?? You mean … Jesus wasn’t actually a Christian?? Oh, man. If JESUS wasn’t a Christian, why should I be? Continue reading “Short Stack #3”
Do you think Jesus’ healing hands work only when he exerts his holy will? Or just anytime he touches something?
Because, man, if it’s the second one, that would suck. Say you invite Jesus over for a barbecue, and serve him up a nice juicy breast or leg off the grill — the instant he touches it, bam! You’ve got a live chicken at the party. And then what? Continue reading “Short Stack #2”
I just hope that after the fundamentalist Christians defeat evolution, they go after entomology next. I’m tired of all these bugs.
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To a fundamentalist, every adventure looks like a sin.
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Christians say they can’t explain the mysteries of God. Then they say scientists have to be wrong because they can’t explain every mystery of the universe. Huh? I missed something. Continue reading “Short Stack”
