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To You and Yours

dan2Favorite holiday moment of all time: I was away at college in about 1982, but determined to make it home for the holidays. In the dead of winter, I set out hitchhiking from the Sacramento area to the Eastern Sierra, a distance of more than 250 miles. In what turned out to be a full day of standing on the roadside, getting short rides, more standing on the roadside, etc., I finally reached my Cowboy Dad’s house in the mountains at about 8 p.m. — 12 hours later.

The last ride had been an endless, freezing two hours hunched up inside my coat IN THE BACK OF A PICKUP. If you look up “chilled to the bone” in the encyclopedia, there will be a picture of me as I crawled over the side of the truck bed and landed on the street. I was so cold I could barely make my hands grip, so cold I was no longer even shivering.

I walked two blocks to Dan’s (Dad’s) house, climbed the stairs on knees so stiff I had trouble bending them, and knocked on the door. He opened it and ushered me in, instantly seeing I was near-frozen. He said “Go right into the bathroom and fill the tub up with hot water. Sit in it for a while.”

Through stiff lips, I said “Just let me sit here for a bit.” He was adamant: “No, get in there and fill the tub up with hot water and get into it. We’ll talk when you come out.”

I did what he said. Spent about an hour in luxurious hot water, and it was unbelievable how great it felt.

I will love him forever for so many things, but that was one of the REALLY good ones. Wish he was here so I could tell him one more time: I was so, so lucky to have you in my life. Merry Christmas, Old Man.

And happy holidays to all the rest of you. If you have somebody like this in your life, TELL THEM what they mean to you.

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Seeing the World Through Sane-Colored Glasses

lastWarningLest we forget, “The Crazy” is totally still out there.

I’m probably reminding ME more than you. I’ve made an effort to be saner, to get all the religious craziness out of my head, and I’ve succeeded (with the religion part anyway) so well that I never think in any religious or superstitious way at all. I tend to tune out the nuttier stuff.

As a result — is it the Dunning-Kruger Effect? — I always think the world around me is fairly sane. I’m prone to see humans as rational and compassionate, with the individual exceptions as rarities.

But … read this: Continue reading “Seeing the World Through Sane-Colored Glasses”

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Eschaton 2012 Open Thread and Beta Culture Post List

First: Wow. I had a fantastic time at Eschaton 2012 in Ottawa. Gushy thank-yous to the organizers and volunteers, especially Seanna, Evan and Ania. Kevin Smith, President and Chair of Center For Inquiry Canada, you and your entire organization totally rock. All of you give me hope. (Give me a shout for your next event, and I’ll be there before the echoes die away.)

Also, to my FTB co-bloggers PZ, Crommunist, Natalie and Ophelia, it was especially nice to meet you or see you again. Ian, you are absolutely outrageous in all the best ways and it was very cool to spend time with you. PZ, thank you for existing; everything else is gravy. Eugenie Scott, I know I made no impression at all on you in the minute or so we had together, but I was awed to meet you. Larry Moran, ditto, and thank you for your interesting thoughts. Chris DiCarlo and Mrs. DiCarlo (I’m ashamed to say I didn’t catch your name), I really enjoyed talking to you at the museum, and  wish we’d had more time. Lady DiCarlo, you gave me some things to think about, and those are the best kind of conversations. Continue reading “Eschaton 2012 Open Thread and Beta Culture Post List”

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Beta Culture: Drowning Puppies So You Don’t Get Dogs

I’m a professional editor. I’m also a professional writer. I can tell you which one is easiest: Editing.

When I sit down to a blank screen and have to write, oh boy, is it a challenge. Normally I write with what I call “the fire.” I might wake up in the morning with a … well, call it a shape in my head, the shape of an essay or short story, and I can sit down and write the entire first draft in no time at all.

When I don’t have the creative fire – annoyingly, it seems to come less often as I get older – writing is like shoveling dirt. Every word comes hard. The whole piece, whatever it is I’m writing on, is a beastly chore. Ugh. It’s so laborious that sometimes I walk away from it. And sometimes I never come back.

But editing! Oh man. Whether it’s my own work or somebody else’s, I can gleefully wade in, slashing, burning, chopping, wielding the machete of my editing skills to shape what is already there. No back-breaking creativity required! Continue reading “Beta Culture: Drowning Puppies So You Don’t Get Dogs”

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Bracing For Superstorm Sandy

Storm preparations:  Guns, knives, ammo … check, check, check. Mormon neighbor with year’s supply of food … check.

Storm Survival Tips #413: Lhasa Apsos are nicely marbled, but mini-dachshunds have more actual meat.

Kiddinnnng!

When Hurricane Irene made landfall in August of 2011, I lived in a nice, safe farmhouse well above floodline. We even had a fireplace, so if the power had gone out, we’d be warm and might have even finagled a way to cook. Continue reading “Bracing For Superstorm Sandy”

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The Passing of a Loved One

Greta Christina recently lost her father.

My father died on October 1, 2012, at the age of 79.

My dad, like me, was an atheist. And when you’re an atheist and a non-believer, and the people you love die, you don’t get to tell yourself that they aren’t really dead. You don’t get to tell yourself that you’re going to see them again someday, in some hypothetical post-death existence that somehow both is and is not life. You have to accept that death is really permanent, and really final.

This may be surprising to many believers… but atheist ways of dealing with death and grief are not actually dire, or hopeless, or without consolation. I’ve been surprised, in fact, at how comforting my humanism and my naturalism have been during my grief.

Go over there and read it. It’s that rarest of obits, one from an atheist. Illuminating, uncompromising, and very, very touching.

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First Person Revolutionary — Part 4

[ First read Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 ]

All the civilizations I ever heard of had this in common: Somewhere right near each one’s heart was religion.

It seems impossible to get away from. And yet it shouldn’t be. After all, it’s never been true that religion is ALL people do.

And it’s not as if religion is food, or water, or air. It’s just this … idea. Hideously embroidered, massively wrapped in confusing, fanciful language, aggressively forced upon people in their vulnerable years and moments … but still just an idea. If it’s possible for one person to be free of it, it’s possible for anyone – maybe even a majority of us – to be free of it. And yet, it seems, we’ve never really tried.

This may be the moment in which that begins to change. This is the “maybe” revolution I spoke of in Part 1. Continue reading “First Person Revolutionary — Part 4”

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Thoughts On My Upcoming 60th (!) Birthday

Okay, fuck it. I’ve decided to celebrate.

To explain why I actually had to decide that: I had a thing happen a few weeks back. Was at a dinner party and a close friend happened to mention the date of my birth right out in public. I was peeved at him for several minutes.

For years now, I haven’t liked people knowing my birthday.

I’ll tell you why. It’s a glitch left over from childhood, but apparently I’m still carrying it around. (I’ve just apologized to my good friend, who puts up with my countless idiotic quirks without complaint.) Continue reading “Thoughts On My Upcoming 60th (!) Birthday”

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One in Five Americans Stricken With Crippling Mental Illness

Well, it’s a crippling mental illness if you’re a religious authority. Otherwise, it’s Freedom.

Nones Climb to 19 Percent

America’s “Nones” — the nonreligious — are at an all-time high, now comprising nearly one in five Americans (19%), according to a new study by the Pew Center for the People and the Press. The 19% count is based on aggregated surveys of 19,377 people conducted by the Pew Research Center throughout 2011 and reported by USA Today. Continue reading “One in Five Americans Stricken With Crippling Mental Illness”